Imagine waking up every morning, only to remember that you’ve been condemned to ruling a medieval theocracy with a nuclear weapons program. That’s my life. It’s a big pain in the ass, without the perk of it getting laid. Christ, I would’ve been better off if I had listened to Nikki Sixx and joined Motley Crue when Vince quit. Even when the band was at its lowest, the chicks were still smokin’ hot and Tommy Lee looks like a lot of fun to hang with, doesn’t he?"I'm the one they call Mullah Feelgood, I'm the one that makes you feel alright ..."
Well, if nothing else, at least I’m the unquestioned leader of a medieval theocracy with a nuclear weapons program. That has to count for something, right? It is, when all is said and done, good to be king. I know that I’m actually the head mullah and not king, but I like to pretend sometimes. When no one is looking, I like to wear a tiny crown underneath my turban during Friday prayers and nobody has noticed. Suckers.
Oh, what’s that?
On Sunday, a leading pro-reform figure, former President Mohammad Khatami,.
called for a referendum on the legitimacy of Ahmadinejad's government. That
could emerge as a concrete demand for the opposition to rally around. Another
demand they will likely focus on is the release of the more than 500 protesters
and prominent reform politicians still in prison from the crackdown.
Khamenei has supported Ahmadinejad with unprecedented openness,
dismissing opposition claims he won by fraud, and his speech Monday suggested he
was digging in against opposition demands. Abandoning the president now to a
referendum would be a blow to Khamenei's status as supreme leader.
If the opposition were based solely on street protests or on mainstream
reform politicians, it might have eventually withered under the security
crackdown and the condemnations of hard-line clerics. The support of Rafsanjani
— even though he is mistrusted by many reformists — gives the movement new life
and an advocate within the clerical power structures
Assholes! I’m surrounded by assholes! Now I know how Michael Jackson felt. Poor, poor King of Pop. I loved "Dirty Diana" so.
Where was I? Oh, yeah.
Do you think it’s easy dealing with Ahmadinejad? That guy’s a nut! And always with the Jews and Israel. Doesn't he know about my accountant, Murray? Oy.
You think I like screaming "Death to America" every day for twenty years? It's stifling. I want to try new things, but I can't. You know why I keep kickin' it old school? For the kids, man. For. The. Motherfuckin'. Kids. they expect it, and I can't let them down. I'd be nothing without the kids.
What the fuck good is being Supreme Leader if you have to contend with referendums all the goddamned time? Doesn’t that just turn me into Joe fucking Biden? You know, if folks get to vote on your supremacy, then you aren't all that goddamned supreme, now are you?
That's the problem with Persians, they don't understand English!
You know, there are days when I wonder if I need this shit. I should have married Pamela Anderson, after all. She’s got a really nice place in Malibu and great big floppers. I bet she shaves her pussy, too. You know how rare that it is in Qom?
Jesus Christ, I bet this never happens at Naked Villainy. I love that blog.
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